Tinder, Voo, Cuddlr and co

So, I am 24, single and I live in a wonderful city. Munich to be more precise. As far as I can remember, I felt fine. But there is this one thing making me really nervous all of a sudden.

I happened to look around and suddenly everyone started settling down. I sometimes ask myself, when did this actually happen. I remember me and my friends fooling around in front of a photo booth, taking silly pictures and making all kinds of funny faces. I remember knowing the Uffie lyrics by heart and singing aloud “I am like that cold ass bitch and I aint ready to suck”. So here I am just 10 years later and I am stuck up with myself, not knowing what to do next.

Well I am finishing the university this FALL and all I know is “I know nothing”. I did all those fancy internships, always feeling like I was some kind of imposter, not really good enough for the real position, trying to hide my weakness, be desireable, likeable and competent. And then I peek on one of those job postings and I realize, this world is a hell of a place, where every random employer wants you to be a  superstar. I even ask myself, where are all those people like me, the ones who are not the superstars but would like to get a job which is apparently only meant for superstars. The truth is I don’t know.

Everyone I see or meet is somehow special, they do really special stuff and I have a lot of respect for their way of life. This one friend of mine has a boyfriend and he is a carpenter. Now I know this might not sound fancy enough. But the thing is he is not just any random carpenter. He is a carpenter who made his passion turn to reality. He has great clients, he owns his own company and he is the employer of at about 20 people. When I look at him I force myself in questioning my own choices. I did everything I thought was necessary to lead a successful life. Actually I feel like I did everything for a good CV. Starting from some voluntary work to language classes, good grades and a semester abroad. And here I am, nothing is good enough, I am not good enough. I can’t help feeling like an imposter and while I kept on focusing on my dreams of self-actualization, something else happened, my friends started settling down.

At the beginning I said I felt fine, but every now and then I get this idea of lying to myself and convincing my poor old soul of being fine. The thing is my best friends are either in a functioning long term relationship or they have recently met some serious love interests. And me, well me, I recently got Tinder, Voo, Cuddlr and co.

 

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16 thoughts on “Tinder, Voo, Cuddlr and co

    • Helloworld says:

      Hi tessa, great to hear that you love the blog 🙂 Well tinder is a universe of it’ s own, you never know what happens next. But I surely will keep updating ❤

  1. infinite8tome says:

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you had a great university experience. It’s easy to wonder whether you made the right choices.

    To go to school, or not to go. To be an artist, or not to be. doubt gets the best of us. My point is, I’m sure you’re plenty good enough. As for the L word and its mysterious whereabouts…I can relate. *In my Vanessa Hudgens singing voice* Just keep the faith. Lol.

  2. TypingToTaipei says:

    Hi! I really enjoyed and emoathised with this post. I know exactly what you mean. I tried so hard to get grades (for a career I don’t even want to do, am learning two languages (but no where near good enough to use in a professional sense) and have done a lot of volunteer work. I am living abroad and many people tell me how lucky I am, but I’m akways left with this feeling that it’s everyone else who has it good, and that I “should” start thinking about settling down.

    It’s ridiculous the amount of pressure we put on ourselves in our mid 20’s!

    Thanks for the follow, I love your blog!:)

    • Helloworld says:

      Hi dear! I know, this seems to be problem of out whole generation, putting a lot of pressure on ourselves and feeling desperate in out mid 20s! Great to hear that you love the blog and you emoathise with it. Afterall sharing is caring ❤

  3. canadaslim says:

    To thine own self be true. When you compare yourself with others, you will always feel different and may confuse this difference with inadequacy. You must follow your own star and get to where you are bound in your own way. Trust yourself and your own inner wisdom. You are more than the sum of your relationships, otherwise why were we made as individuals rather than carbon copies of one another? Don´t focus on what you don´t have but rather embrace the joy of what you do have. You are wonderful, unique and worthy of all the happiness and joy the world has to offer at this very moment. The past is just a memory. Tomorrow is just a dream. This moment now is all you need. Carpe diem.

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